It was a brisk Tuesday evening that Tuesday night, as a group of six promising lads sought attendance at the local theater. That is what someone might say if it wasn’t mid-July in Arizona. Seeing as I am not that someone enjoying the comforts of a healthy Summer breeze however, this Tuesday evening was anything but brisk. The word “whisk” rhymes with brisk though, and I assure you, I’ve wiped clean of a good many things. My dignity, for example, and $67 dollars in hard earned cash. Benjamin Franklin might have given himself away to many women, but you don’t give a Franklin away to many teenage rapscallions. Yes, he was a great man who did many things and I won’t protest that fact, but he never paid for his friends’ theater tickets until most recently, that I can assure. But enough of that, for the sake of bandwith, those keys are to by typed another day.
I write this blog in rememberence of something very dear to me that recently passed. May my sense in comedy rest in peace. Sorry, I am just a little emotional right now, and forgot my manners. I can only assume that you, the reader, are most flustered and perplexed. Let me explain. I was held at gunpoint to go see the film Year One, starring Jack Black and that one awkward kid. Trust me, it was against my will. Maybe it was the will of God (or Gods whatever the case may be), just like they willed Mr. Black and Awkwad Teen to leave their barbaric camp without hesitation (like a man who stayed in room 67 at the Get Away Suites), and learned to question a great many things; such as what was on the other side of the mountains that have existed since the beginning of time (a year ago as the title suggests)? What happens if I eat the forbidden fruit? What lies inside the chamber of the Gods? Why is this film rated PG-13? Where did my sixty-seven dollars go? Unfortuneately, not all of these questions are answered. In the end, you are left with over an hour’s worth of cheap laughs, a loss of pride, and an empty wallet. To think, I thought an idea about parodying the Bible could turn out half decent. Such opportunity gone to waste, down the pipes, out of my hands and into someone elses. On the bright side of things, it’s like I paid for 5 additional movies in advance, and I already know two of them!
[...] blurred my hurling disappointments into one mudded memory of extreme pleasure. Though I do recall, as you surely do, a rather lengthy grievance involving an unpaid $67… Moving on, I also indulged in the [...]